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Thursday, December 1, 2011
12:39 PM | Posted by
Scott
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Before I share more details, I want to express my own motivation for writing this post. I have wanted for some time to respond to the many women who fear that a submissive wife is somewhat of a slave to her husband, that she loses her “rights,” and that there will be no one to put her needs first. Not everyone is married to a man who loves her unconditionally, lays down his wishes and desires for hers and makes it his goal to cherish her, but I want to share what it looks like in my marriage as I live in submission to my husband, whose love is as Christ like as I have ever seen.
The story of his latest romantic surprise.
To give some background, I had just finished a pretty intense season in ministry, speaking at a conference in August, another in September, traveling to Thailand in October for five days of ministry, ten days later leading another conference plus two weeks of wonderful company. During this time, Scott was also doing more travelling than he’s ever done before.
We put our three girls on a plane to Paris (another great story) late on the Friday night before Thanksgiving. I went to bed exhausted but ready to sleep in and take the next week to get my life (and home) back in order.
Instead, this is what happened:
- Scott woke me up with a cup of tea in bed and handed me a packing list, but with no hints of where we were going.
- While I showered and packed Scott made us a yummy eggs and bacon breakfast.
- At one point in the morning he told me that Westly, our mutt, needed a biscuit. When I opened the cupboard I found some wonderful perfume with a card that announced that we were about to have a sensual, spoiling, refreshing weekend. He said that we had been pouring into many other things for months, and now it was time for us to pour into each other.
- We hopped in the car with me still unsure of our destination, and Scott announced that we would be answering some questions together periodically throughout our day. He had compiled a list from various books, blogs, and articles. (e.g. “Describe the perfect kiss”)
- We arrived at a beautiful walking park and even saw some deer! Lots of hand holding and kisses and more questions.
- Next Scott dropped me off at a nail salon, handed me another card with a gift certificate for a deluxe mani/pedi – a real treat for me!
- Scott picked me up after my relaxing nail spa experience and we arrived at an Embassy Suites. He asked me to wait in the lobby, handed me a card and told me he would text when I could open it.
- The card was an invitation to come to our room for an afternoon tea (my favorite pastime and drink of choice) Scott had gone all out with sandwiches, scones, and treats! Delicious!
- Oh, unusual dress for the tea but very romantic, new black silk robe and lingerie!
- After relaxing a bit and taking care of a few “have to’s” for our church duties on Sunday morning, Scott announced that it was time to get ready for our dinner reservation. Then he showed me the pretty new dress he had purchased for me!
- After a happy hour glass of wine and a delicious dinner I was handed a key to unlock a special box filled with little cards with gradually increasing passion ideas, the first of which was, “Kiss like you did when kissing was all you could do - five minutes minimum.”
- I’m not giving any further details on the cards but the Jacuzzi and champagne were definitely a hit!
And that was just the first day of our three day weekend together. Get the picture? Does this submission-hearted wife feel like a slave?? Only to his love!!!
Postscript
Not only is this an example of Scott’s selfless love for me, planning all my favorites and spoiling me, but this post is also an example of what my submission looks like. I really balked badly at writing a post. Just did not want to! Scott didn’t demand it, but just hinted would I ever want to, on any subject. I did it because I hoped it would please him, not because I had to, because I want to make him as happy as he makes me.
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7 comments:
Yea Jenni! This is an amazing post! Thanks so much for sharing and talking about what healthy submission looks like for you and Scott. I agree with everything you have said and can see how much you shared from your heart.
Brad and I admire your husband and Journey to Surrender, greatly. But we always new there had to be an amazing woman behind the scenes! You and Scott a a beautiful testament and we thank you for sharing. It is our hope to meet you both someday soon! Thank you again for sharing and hope to hear more from you in the future! Blessings to you and Scott! Kate & Brad of @onefleshmarriage
PS Sounds like a great weekend away for a lovely couple!
Awesome, Scott! I can learn a lot from you.
Great first post. I hope there are alot more to come. I love hearing both husband and wive's perspectives on marriage blogs, seminars, books, etc.
Jenny!!! You did it, and you've made your husband look so good. I believe the Lord is pleased with your decision to please him. And you'll never know how this little post will inspire other husbands to go a do likewise. Great job, Scott!! I can't wait for your next post.
Blessings,
Debi
Impressive intentionality on your husband's part. Very romantic, indeed.
Yet, a husband being romantic does not require a submissive wife as in a hierarchical marriage paradigm.
If he does things for you because he knows it would please you and make you happy, it does not follow that he assume a hierarchically subordinate position. Neither does your agreeing to write a post after he suggests it necessitate you assuming a hierarchically subordinate position, unless of course there would be some type of negative consequence because it would be considered disobedience because he has actual enforceable authority as in a right to control, direct, exact obedience, etc. over you.
It actually appears you have a very mutual relationship. Once in which you each do things NOT because you have to, but because you desire to please each other and want to make each other happy. These arrangements make for the happiest and most fulfilling marriages and God-honoring as well.
SM
Thanks to all for their encouraging comments! I will try another post soon!
Good job, both of you! I look forward to such times in my marriage as well! Your marriage is a good example to those around you, keep up the good work! God bless you!
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