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Friday, November 30, 2012
7:00 AM | Posted by
ScottDon't miss the giveaway details below!
I’m following up today on my last counter-culture marriage post, Sex is a Big Deal.
At the end of that post, I mentioned a terrific new resource for boosting your sex life called 31 Days to Great Sex, an e-book by writer and fellow marriage-blogger Sheila Gregoire. She blogs at To Love Honor and Vacuum.
A Quick Book Review
I am a big fan of the Sheila’s holistic approach to sex. As I mentioned yesterday, sex is much more than a physical act, and the book is written around that very principle. Her thinking is much along the lines of my 14-Day Intimacy Challenge, and I found myself nodding in wholehearted agreement throughout. Of course, her book gives you a much more in-depth treatment to each daily topic and runs more than twice as many days!
The book is full of wonderful insights and advice for both husbands and wives. It is 131 pages in length.
Here is little overview.
- Section 1, Days 1-8, is “Turning Sex into Something Positive.” It is a fitting on-ramp to the rest of the book, addressing some of the major mental hang-ups we have about sex. The mind is your most important sex organ!
- Sections 2, 3 and 4 (covering 17 days in total) deal respectively with the emotional, physical and spiritual dimensions of your sex life. A few samples of the daily topics include “Ways to Flirt with Your Spouse,” “Turning Foreplay Up a Notch,” and “Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy when you Make Love.’
- The book wraps up with six days dedicated to keeping the sexual momentum in your marriage going into the future, with such helpful topics as “Quickies Can be Fun” and “Sex After Parenthood.”
Why You Should Get It
I’m re-emphasizing Sheila’s book today for several reasons.
First and foremost, it is a fantastic resource for married couples in all stages of life. Whether you are newly married or, like my wife and I, married more than 30 years, you will find Sheila’s insights on sex and her daily challenges to be of great benefit to your marriage.
Second, I am offering a free copy of "31 Days to Great Sex" as a give-away to one lucky commenter. Just answer this question in the comments: “Which dimension of sex do you think is the most important (physical, emotional, or spiritual) and why?” Not an easy question, I know, but I’m very curious to hear your thoughts.
Third, I believe in and want to help Sheila get the word out in support of strong marriages full of fantastic sex. As she says, “Married sex should be the best sex,” despite what our prevailing culture says to the contrary.
So, please help me help Sheila and order your copy of "31 Days to Great Sex" today. And since I’m part of her affiliate network, I benefit too when you order through the link below. Regardless of whether you get it through me or somewhere else, do get it!
<< CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER TO ORDER YOUR COPY
Don’t forget to leave a comment below to be entered into the contest. (Email readers click the link!) The drawing happens at noon on Tuesday, December 4th.
PS Don’t wait to order, because Sheila has graciously offered a copy of her successful book, “Good Girls Guide to Great Sex,” in the event that you win and have already ordered!
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25 comments:
To me, physical is the most important, it opens the door for me to feel the emotional and spiritual.
The emotional side is most important, without the emotion there is no phyiscal or spiritual side.
Physical is the most important. As someone who has suffered from physical issues that prevented fulfilling sex with my spouse you can quickly lose focus of the emotional and spiritual.
Physical, it is impossible for me to obtain the other 2 without it.
Emotional... sex connects my husband and I on an emotional level that just makes everytihng "work" together better - in all aspects of our lives. Easy to tell when we have done with out for a while - life and family dynamiscs just doesn't work as well.
Spiritual. I can only get that connection from my wife. All three are important but the spirit is the most tender and binds all three aspects together.
The emotional and physical aspects of sex are inseparable for me. I'm not sure what people mean by 'spiritual' sex.
I feel so powerless to turn my wife on. I hope this book can help...
The physical is easy...it can turn into going through the motions. Without the emotional dimention it seems to just be action. Emotional opens a person up to truly be vulnerable.
You're right! A tough question indeed. While the physical is nice, the emotional connection needs to be there. The spiritual connection is also very important as we always pray together after our time with each other which brings us even closer.
Emotional for me, probably physical for my husband. I am always happy to have sex, even if I don't climax because of the intimacy that it brings. I go to bed with a smile on my face, regardless of if I have experienced the complete physical peak.
plumfun41@yahoo.com
I would think it has to be the spiritual because otherwise it is no different then with anyone else.
It is all important. It all works together to make the relationship and the"fun stuff" that goes with it more fun and enjoyable.
I have to say spiritually - then emotional and physical will come after. Sex comes from God and only He can connect and bind 2 different sinful people together to join sexually and emotionally. Without it, I think 1 spouse will try to get physical first while the other spouse wants the emotional and nobody will get either.
ghalim
ghalim at yahoo dot com
I think it requires all of those components equally. I find it very hard to be intimate with my spouse when I am exhausted mentally, physically or spiritually. It takes a very long time to "get into it" under any of those circumstances. Thankfully, he's a very patient man in those times.
Love the great variety of answers! Keep 'em coming...
That is a tough one. Without the physical part there can't be the emotional or the spiritual. But I'd have to say the spiritual part is the most important; it seems that is the last and perhaps most difficult to find. And that is the part that will really last forever in our hearts, or perhaps in our character. I really don't know how to explain it.
I think that they are all equally important because they are all a part of the plan to become closer to God. Physically and emotionally connecting with each other in the marriage bed as He intended helps to fulfill the spiritual aspect and bring us closer to him. If any of the three are removed or not given equal importance, we risk not participating fully in His plan for us.
Honestly, I don't think you can elevate any one aspect of sex above the others. They're all crucial parts of its foundation: without any one piece, the thing itself (sex) begins to crumble.
The whole of sex is such a beautiful picture and I believe that we as Christians need to help clear the picture instead of muddle it!
I am a physical touch guy, so my gut reaction is physical... however, I will say that when my wife fully present and "into it" for lack of a better term, even the physical is better. For that reason my answer is "emotional"
Well, as others have said, it's hard to separate the different parts, but if I'm being forced to choose I think I'll go with "emotional".
Whenever we have sex, but my wife doesn't appear to get any pleasure out of it, I enjoy it a lot less. When she does purely physical acts for my pleasure, I appreciate it, but it doesn't give me that same kind of connected feeling. I'm not actually sure if this is more emotional or spiritual, but the longer we're married the less I can feel satisfied by solely the physical aspect.
Thanks!
zgamer7 AT gmail DOT COM
For me it is a concept which is morphing. When young and first married, physical was my goal. Now in middle-age, the emotional/spiritual side is getting better, which in turn helps the decline (age related) in the physical ability. As another poster mentioned, when we are "both there" and "involved", the intimate connection is beyond words.
I think all three are important. Women like the emotional part of intimacy and men usually crave the physical - but to have a fulfilling relationship we need to have a mixture.
I believe all three are important and connected, but it begins with spiritual, because it's God's design.
For me, the emotional connection is central, as it glues the physical and spiritual together. But I acknowledge that there are no deep/lasting emotional connections apart from the work of the Spirit in our lives.
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