Journey to Surrender

Last time I wrote about the potential damage technology can inflict on your marriage and ways to avoid it.

This week we'll look at ways to use technology to actually bless your spouse and improve your marriage.


1. Keep in Touch

Although electronic communication (texts, emails, private messages, etc) are no substitute for real, in-person conversation, it does afford couples easy ways to stay in touch with each other. Jenni and I text and message each other frequently throughout the day, and I find that it helps us maintain our connection while we are physically separated. We let each other know of prayer needs, victories and struggles in real time. It is helpful when we are unable to have a lengthy conversation.

Here are a few ways to keep in touch electronically:

• Text a prayer request or ask how you can pray for your spouse.
• Send an instant message "I'm especially missing you today."
• Follow up on an important meeting or event and ask how it went
• Send a link to a song that reminds you of your spouse or that might be an encouragement

2. Be Intentional

I keep all my calendars and to do lists online and they are available across all my devices. I also use these tools to help me be intentional where Jenni is concerned.

Here are a few examples of how I do that:

• Keep track of her schedule so I can pray for her and ask her about happenings.
• Jot down movies we talk about wanting to see in a list.
• Put date nights in my calendar so I can remember to plan when it's my turn.
• Make a note of blog posts or articles I'd like us to discuss together

3. Get Your Flirt On

Sometimes it's easier to be flirty when you aren't face-to-face. There are even apps like Couple and Avacado that provide a secure way to communicate words and pictures that you wouldn't want someone to stumble across in your phone.

Here are a few ways to flirt with your spouse.

• Remind your spouse of a sexy memory.  Ask if you can re-enact it tonight.
• Thank your spouse for "last night," accompanied by the appropriate emoticons.
• Visually oriented husbands especially like to see a bit of skin or lingerie (but make sure it's totally secure)
• Text your spouse something you like about their physical appearance.
• Send a message suggesting what you have in mind for the two of you tonight after the kids are in bed

Important note: husbands and wives usually have different definitions of how they like be flirted with. Try to keep in mind your spouse's definition!

4. Learn, Grow, Improve

There is a wealth of fantastic marriage encouragement out there these days, and electronic devices give you convenient, on-the-go access to them.

• Bookmark your favorite marriage blogs in your phone or tablet (I hope Journey to Surrender is among them!).
• Sign up to receive a marriage newsletter or two that you find helpful. You can sign up for mine here.
• Get a Kindle or reader app and download a marriage book or two. Read one together with your spouse and talk about it.
• Take a marriage challenge or download a marriage devotional or prayer guide.

5. Remember

Many of us use our phones as a massive storage device.  With so many cloud-based storage solutions from the likes of Google, Apple and Microsoft, you have a real opportunity to keep a treasure trove of memories available to you wherever you go.

• Sit down with your spouse once in a while and look back through some photos of meaningful, fun, or silly events.
• Use your phone or tablet as a journal (though I know many prefer actual paper).
• Make a list on your phone of the things you love most about your spouse (really, do this!). Read them every day. Share one occasionally with your spouse.

6. When You Are Apart

Both Jenni and I travel quite a bit, much of it international. We find electronic communications especially helpful in keeping us connected when we are worlds apart.

• Send emails to each other when our time zones don't line up. It's great to wake up to a letter from my darling wife.
• Text, what's app, or use messenger more diligently, even more when we are traveling.
• It's especially nice when we can Skype or Facetime and actually get to see each other. Not quite as good as being there but close.

Do any of you have other ways you use technology to benefit your marriage? I'd love to hear your ideas! Leave a comment.